Second Edition: I have started editing posts from several years ago and reposting them. I am doing this for two reasons: (1) to make them more easily available and (2) to “spruce” them up a little. Enjoy!
Love is a transaction. Someone gives love, and someone receives love. It is nonsense to think about the concept of love without a giver or a receiver. I think that almost everyone loves somebody and somebody loves them. Actually, for most people, many people love them, and they love many people. Among Jesus followers, the experience of being loved and expressing love is a way of living. Loving and being loved is a primary characteristic of Christian fellowships. When that is not the case, this is a grave concern.
What can we learn from Scripture about God’s plan for love to be experienced and expressed? Let us begin by looking at the famous love chapter from 1 Corinthians 13.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:1-13).
The way love is experienced or expressed varies. Since love is a relationship matter, the nature of the relationship shapes the way love is experienced or expressed. In a family, the expression and experience of love from parents to their children is different from the expression and experience of love from children to their parents. The expression and experience of love between a husband and wife are unique from any other experience or expression of love. The experience and expression of love among Jesus followers are different than the experience and expression of love among unbelievers.
Without going into the many other combinations of differing experiences and expressions of love in other categories, it is clear that a relationship is the major factor in the experience and expression of love
When love is expressed, the one doing the loving does something. Love is an action or activity that is visible. However, love is also an attitude of the heart and may not be visible. Love is also a decision, a choice. At some point, each individual who loves decided to love someone. Hopefully, everyone has received love from someone.
There is an emotional component to love. There is a feeling attached to giving love and feeling attached to receiving love. These feelings are positive. These feelings carry a sense of belonging, caring, support, and safety. Love is a good thing.
What can we learn about how God considers love from the Scriptures? First from the mouth of Jesus:
One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these (Mark 12: 28-31).
Simply, love God and love your neighbor. This has been characterized as vertical love, love God, and horizontal love, love your neighbor. God is to be loved intensely. with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ Jesus uses the parable of the Good Samaritan to define who is your neighbor.
Jesus further deepens the horizontal love for others with this commandment:
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35).
The new standard for horizontal love is to go beyond loving others as you love yourself to loving others as Jesus loves them. Since to love as Jesus loves is the new standard, this is a good place to explore what the Scriptures tell us about how God loves us. The best place to start is with a verse most Jesus followers have memorized: John 3:16.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
First, we see whom God expresses His love, the world. Second, God expresses His love by giving. We see God’s expression of love being an act. We see God’s expression of love having a purpose. God’s love gift is an intervention to keep the world and everyone in it from perishing. God’s love gift is a rescue. Although the love gift is given to everyone, only those who receive the gift benefit from the intervention, the rescue. The condition is that whoever, anyone, is the only one who will receive the benefit of not perishing but instead receive eternal life.
An insight gained here is that expressions of love may not be received and experienced by the intended person. This is a universal principle. Love given may not be received, and this can occur not only between God and man but can happen between two people. In this situation, we can say, “the love was rejected”. Perhaps this has happened to you, or maybe you have rejected someone’s expression of love toward you.
Join me in enjoying some verses that proclaim how the Lord loves us.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him (1 John 4:9).
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:39).
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:4-5).
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him (1 John 3:1).
And so, we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them (1 John 4:16).
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us (Romans 5:5).
How can Jesus followers demonstrate their love for God?
In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:3).
We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19).
The Scripture speaks of the importance of Jesus followers loving others, horizontal love.
We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death (1 John 3:14).
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:18).
Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other (1 Thessalonians 4:9).
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters (1 John 3:16).
This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you (John 15:12).
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13).
When you read the Old Testament repeatedly, you will see petitions to the Lord for deliverance from their enemies. They call for the Lord to take vengeance and destroy their enemies. The wretchedness of their enemies is described in great detail. This pattern is very apparent in the Psalms. Imagine the shock when Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount said this:
But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful (Luke 6:27-36).
This must have been a great shock. Jesus gives the rationale for loving your enemies. Do it because, as children of the Most High, you will be following His example (because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked). Being merciful, His love is expressed to enemies (Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful). Jesus goes into details: turn the other cheek, give your shirt also, lend without expecting repayment, do good to your enemies, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you. Then He declares that your reward will be great.
The Lord’s kindness toward His enemies has a purpose.
Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? (Romans 2:4).
This passage with this instruction from Jesus is a great example of loving like Jesus loves that we learned earlier from John 13:34-35. This passage also reflects the love gift of John 3:16. We also see that the Lord expects His children to express love like God does in reference to others, even when the others are enemies. Look at these verses and hear more about the heart of God and how He expresses His love.
But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy (Ephesians 2:4).
he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit (Titus 3:5).
The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent (1 Peter 3:9 NLT).
who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4).
…He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous (Matthew 5:45).
Have you noticed that often in Scripture we see categories of opposites? Here are some examples.
Two categories: Perishing vs Not perishing in John 3:16.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
Two categories: Believe in the Son and receive eternal life vs reject the Son and not see life.
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son (John 3:18).
Two categories: With Jesus vs against Jesus. Gathers vs scatters.
He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth (Luke 11:23 KJV).
Two categories: Yes vs no.
All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one (Matthew 5:37).
See what I mean? The two categories are mutually exclusive. Everyone is either in one category but not the other. No one could be in both, and everyone is one or the other. Probably you can think of other examples of two opposite and mutually exclusive categories in Scripture.
We see this “two-category” mutually exclusive model come into play when we examine the experience of love and expression of love in reference to the Jesus follower, in which failure to love is equated to hate. Scripture indicates that there are only two categories: love or hate. Loving has an opposite, and it is hating. It is impossible to love and hate at the same time.
Let us explore some more, but first, let us flashback to the beginning of our exploration of love. Remember the first and second greatest commandments: love God, vertical, and love others, horizontal.
The book of 1 John gives guidance in understanding the two categories of love versus hate. Follow along as we look through several verses.
Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them (1 John 2:9-11).
Two more mutually exclusive categories are introduced: light vs darkness. Many places in Scripture talk about light as being where God and His children are contrasted with darkness, where sin, death, and judgment by God are. Haters are in darkness and do not know where they are going. Lovers will not stumble.
We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him (1 John 3:14-15).
Two more mutually exclusive categories are introduced: death and life. Hate is equated with murder. Haters are in death versus lovers who are in life.
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is made complete in us (1 John 4:7-12).
Two more mutually exclusive categories are introduced, born of God and know God, versus not knowing God. Then the Scripture turns us to logic. Even though we have not seen God, we still love Him, and when we do, God lives in us.
We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister (1 John 4:19-21).
More logic. We love because God loved us first. If a person claims to love God and yet hates others, they are lying about loving God. Two more mutually exclusive categories are introduced, claiming to love God versus hating others. Again, the idea is emphasized, how can you say you love God who you have not seen, and still hate your brother, whom you have seen?
Following the logic that you either love or hate and they are mutually exclusive, then we conclude that those who do not love God hate Him. Allow me to share a personal experience. Over half of my professional career was spent serving in Christian organizations where my colleagues and the people we served were all believers. All of my university experience was in secular universities. I remember so clearly that in one of my classes, religious issues came up in a classroom discussion. I was shocked when I realized that some of those fellow students actually hated Jesus. It was emotional for me because it hurt to hear someone hate the Lord Jesus, whom I dearly loved. I realized that my daily experience had sheltered me from the reality that is out there in the world. Listen to these verses from John 15 as Jesus was preparing the disciples for His departure.
Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father (John 15:23-24).
This is very sobering. Let us continue.
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:1-3).
More logic. Now the logic goes into the family relationship. Children of God love other children of God, which is a demonstration of loving Jesus and includes obeying His commandments. Oh, by the way, the commandments are not burdensome.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:18).
In the search for a conclusion, God has given us understanding that is summed up in these verses. Then there is a warning: anything that replaces God in our attention, focus, commitment, and loyalty is an idol.
We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Dear children, keep yourselves from idols (1 John 5:19-21).
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™


















