The List

Excerpt from In This Family We ———-(fill in the blank) 2021

So, in Christ Jesus, you are all children of God through faith (Galatians 3:26).

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God (1 John 4:7).

Before we begin to explore the long list of the Lord’s “In this family, we _______,” let’s do something a little unusual. Let’s start with a summary. I know that usually a summary comes at the end and seeks to distill or condense what has preceded, but, as I developed the list and became aware of how long it was becoming, I asked myself, what is this all about? Then it came to me. What was Jesus’s response to the Pharisee’s question about which was the greatest commandment?

One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:35-40).

Jesus declares a standard for the kind of love that His children are to show to others. He called it a new commandment.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:34-35).

The new standard is to love others as Jesus loves us. Jesus goes on to say that this kind of love will be a testimony, evidence of discipleship. We know that Jesus loved mankind to the extent of giving His life. We know the Father loved mankind so much that He gave His Son so that those who believe in that Son will never perish. Clearly, this is the highest standard of love.

The Lord’s commandments to His children in the Scriptures indicate that, for His “In this family, we ______,” it is all about love. Every instruction about the behavior or attitude of the Lord’s family members is an expression of love or of being loving…because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us (Romans 5:5). Of course, this really makes sense. As you read through the verses in the list at the end of this chapter, can you see that love is a family thing with God? God loves us. We love God. We love each other. Can you see that love is relational?

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him (1 John 3:1).

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another (1 John 4:7-11).

And so, we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world, we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister (1 John 4:16-21).

As I began compiling the messages from the Scriptures about the behaviors and attitudes God is developing in His children, I struggled with how to organize the list. It was tempting to create categories distinguishing between behaviors and attitudes and sorting similar behaviors and attitudes into groups. It was tempting to create positive and negative categories, what to do and what not to do. However, I concluded it may be best to just list the Scriptures as I compiled them and let them speak for themselves. As I compiled this list it seemed to become like ocean waves striking the shore. Blessing after blessing, provision after provision, comfort after comfort. It feels very good! See if you agree!

I also decided not to number the list. Although the list appears to be a list of distinct items, in reality, a child of God is a whole person, not a lot of pieces. Who we are as a child of God is a complex mixture of traits and characteristics. The Scriptures in the list are too complex to completely capture the “whole” of being a child of God, but these verses are still very descriptive and helpful.

I could see other risks in numbering the list. First, there is the risk of thinking somehow numbering implied priorities or a difference in the value of some descriptions of the Lord’s family’s behaviors and attitudes. Second, I was concerned that there might be the temptation to use the list as a diagnostic. A person might be tempted to check off which characteristics were true in their life (or maybe someone else’s) and which were not yet evident. A person might be tempted to generate a “score” to see how “good” a child of God they are.

You will also notice themes even though the list is not grouped into themes. One theme the list addresses is what we do, what we say, and how we think. Another theme has to do with what God does to and for us, what God says to us, and what God thinks about us. There is also a theme about what not to do and how not to act. Perhaps you will notice other themes.

You may be wondering, why such a long list and why at this point in the book. First of all, I suspect that many of the Scriptures will be familiar to you and will make you feel good. Secondly, reading the list will prepare your mind for the critical issues in the chapters that follow.

I am assuming that you, like this writer, will find that some specific Scriptures will speak to your heart in a way that is supportive of what the Lord is currently teaching you. There is some redundancy in the items in the list, but please just go with it and consider the redundancy emphasis. The format that I have used is to first cite the Scripture and then, in a brief statement, describe what the Lord’s children do. Notice there is a flow.

Now, let’s explore the behavior and attitudes in the Lord’s instructions for His children. Remember what we discussed earlier in this chapter about love being a family thing with God? As you read through the following long list of “In God’s family, we____” behaviors and attitudes in these verses, notice that these instructions reflect practical ways in which love can be expressed. The common theme throughout is that the children of God demonstrate their love for Him with obedience.

If you love me, keep my commands (John 14:15).

In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:3).

The List

 So, I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed (Ephesians 4:17-19).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, the Lord’s children don’t walk in the futility of their thinking as the unbelievers do, who have given themselves over to sensuality to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. The Lord’s children are set apart, different than the world.

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires: to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:20-24).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we are renewed in our mind and have put off the old self and have put on the new person created in righteousness and true holiness.

Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body (Ephesians 4:25).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we don’t lie but tell the truth.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we don’t carry grudges.

and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:27).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we don’t give in to the devil.

Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need (Ephesians 4:28).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we don’t steal but rather work with our hands so that we can provide for ourselves and the needy.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we guard our mouths and speak with grace to others.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption (Ephesians 4:30).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we do not grieve the Holy Spirit and we are sealed by the Holy Spirit.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice (Ephesians 4:31).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we are not bitter, angry, evil speakers and are not malicious.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we are kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing (Philippians 2:14).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we don’t complain or dispute.

so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky (Philippians 2:15).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we shine as lights in a dark and perverse world.

as you hold firmly to the word of life… (Philippians 2:16).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we practice the word of life.

This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:2-3).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we show our love for God by obeying His commandments and the commandments are not hard.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God (1 John 4:7).

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity (Colossians 3:14).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we practice love.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness (Galatians 5:22).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit:love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we live in peace.

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness (1 Timothy 6:11).

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love (2 Peter 1: 5-7).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we are growing in faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, and godliness. mutual affection and love.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3:12).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we are kind.

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:25 KJV)

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we live and walk by the Spirit.

Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other (Galatians 5:26).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we are not boastful, not aggravating, and not envious.

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many (Hebrews 12:15).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we diligently do not allow any bitterness to trouble us because we could make others unclean.

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received (Ephesians 4:1).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we walk worthy of our vocation.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2)

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we are humble, gentle, patient, and bearing with one another in love.

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we try to keep unity with other family members with peace.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good (Romans 12:9).

The obedient child of the Lord understands: In this family, we lovingly live in harmony with others, hate evil, and cling to good.

In this chapter in the book a long list of “In this family we—-” statements continue.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™